An interview with Jinkee Pacquiao’s old face

BY THE STAFF

"What happened to Jinkee’s face??!" cried many on social media this week, after seeing the latest cover of Mega Magazine with a virtually unrecognizable Mrs. Pacquiao.

Well, we at Mosquito Press have found out. We tracked down Jinkee Pacquiao’s old face and found it at a nursing home in Caloocan, where it is recovering from massive surgical wounds.

We spoke with it about family, culture, and its feelings toward Mrs. Pacquiao’s replacement face. Here is our exclusive interview.

How is your relationship like with Jinkee Pacquiao’s new face?

We’re civil naman. When we see each other, I smile, and then it tries to smile back. 

How is your relationship with Jinkee?

You know, I was the face Jinkee was born with with. She met Manny because of me. He fell in love with her because of me. When they were poor, and through all the difficult times, I stayed fair and wrinkle-free.

So, am I mad that Jinkee replaced me? How can I be mad? She’s not naman a pakshet. She’s not a pakshet who never replies to my texts; who has never even bothered to thank me. She’s not.

It was a painful separation, then?

Duh, they used a knife! Ang daming dugo, like iww. 

What was Mr. Pacquiao’s reaction?

Nothing. But then again, Manny’s face only has two expressions: deadma and “araaay!” Haven’t you seen his movie?

No, I haven’t.

Oo nga pala, nobody saw his movie.

There has been talk that the Pacquiaos’ marriage is on the rocks. Do you have any comment on this?

The marriage is going strong. Jinkee’s happy when Manny’s happy, and Manny’s very happy. It’s a different face he sees in the morning now.

Has the transformation affected the Pacquiao children?

It took them a while to get used to Jinkee’s new face. They were always crying, “I want my mommy!” even though Jinkee was right in front of them.

But eventually, they liked it. Queen Elizabeth nga said, “Mommy, I want to look like you.” Jinkee laughed and said, “Take it out of your trust fund.”

People hit Jinkee for her heavy use of cosmetic surgery. What is your message for her critics?

Haters to the left. I won’t even glorify them. They’re just jealous ants, while Jinkee is a role model for majority of Filipinas.

Everyday, young girls look up to her and think, “One day, I, too, can marry a boxer. I can become a billionaire. I can have enough money to make my flat nose sharp, my brown skin white, my chest a size C, and bring my waistline down to anorexia levels.”

That’s so inspirational.

So, white is beautiful and flat noses are flaws to be fixed?

Yah. But I’m not saying that brown is ugly, no? If you’re comfortable looking like Pokwang, go lang ng go! I support your inner beauty!

What about Angel Aquino?

That’s different. She has class.

A final question: What are your plans for the future?

I want to travel. Maybe see Morocco, Nepal, Antarctica, and Latin America. I’m a backpacker.

But I’m enjoying my retirement. I’ve made very good friends at the Home for Discarded Body Parts. Regine Velasquez’s chin and Gretchen Barretto’s lips are my BFFs. — Mosquito Press

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