May 2012
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BREAKING: Lady Gaga arrested
April 2012
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Willie Revillame forms partylist group
Willie Revillame is joining politics.
On a live telecast of his primetime variety show “Wil Time Big Time,” the host announced that he is turning his organization, the I Wil Serve Foundation, into a partylist group.
“Alam niyo ba nagtatayo ako ng partylist?” he told viewers. “Para sa inyo iyan. Hindi para sa akin.” (Do you know that I’m starting a partylist group? It’s for you, not...
February 2012
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January 2012
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An interview with Jinkee Pacquiao's old face
BY THE STAFF
“What happened to Jinkee’s face??!” cried many on social media this week, after seeing the latest cover of Mega Magazine, with a virtually unrecognizable Mrs. Pacquiao.
Well, we at Mosquito Press have found out. We tracked Jinkee Pacquiao’s old face to a nursing home in Caloocan, where it is recovering from massive surgical wounds.
We spoke with it about...
November 2011
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'Of course GMA will be back. In a few years,...
@AmandoDoronila on Twitter
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The creepy Gloria Arroyo meme
Lawyers for Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo today released a series of creepy photos, showing the former president wearing a neck brace. They hoped to gain sympathy for Arroyo’s bid to leave the country. Instead, the Internet sprung into action and did this:
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5 cutest pictures of the world's 7 billionth baby
On Oct. 31, the United Nations named Danica Camacho a symbolic 7 billionth baby. Danica was born at Manila’s Fabella Hospital, the world’s busiest maternity ward. Here are her cutest pictures.
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October 2011
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What to do when Inday asks for Facebook
BY PEACHY PONCE DE LEON
LIFESTYLE — I recently got the shock of my life when our new maid Inday asked if she could use our PC to log into Facebook.
“Wow, may Facebook ka?” I said.
“Opo, señora,” she answered. “Kakamustahin ko po sana yung kapatid ko sa Hong Kong.”
I told her I would think about her request. I looked composed, but underneath I was...
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Imelda Marcos files bill honoring Muammar Gadhafi
Former First Lady and current Ilocos Sur Representative Imelda Marcos has filed a bill at the House of Representatives, seeking to honor the late Libyan leader Muammar Gadhafi.
Gadhafi was killed today in a gun battle between his loyalists and Libyan revolutionaries.
“Colonel Gadhafi deserves honor because he is Libya’s longest-serving leader,” Marcos told reporters.
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August 2011
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Mideo Cruz shows off his other work
Mideo Cruz and his controversial installation, ‘Poletismo’
BY THE STAFF
“I am so much more than the Mideo Cruz that’s portrayed in the media,” Mideo Cruz tells Mosquito Press.
“I’ve been called blasphemous, heretical, an offspring of the devil… but I am so much more than that.”
The controversial artist, whose exhibit at the Cultural Center of the...
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Christian extremists plot Hilton assassination
Atty. Jo Imbong and members of the Saint Thomas More Society stalk Paris Hilton outside Malacañang Palace
Paris Hilton’s arrival in Manila has caused an avalanche of reaction — but few are as violent as the reactions from Atty. Jo Imbong, Executive Director of the Saint Thomas More Society.
At 10 a.m. today, Imbong posted a message on the social networking site Twitter, calling Paris...
May 2011
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CBCP releases master list of everything they...
Fr. Melvin Castro of the CBCP presents the list to media
The Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) has released a list of 1,829 acts that it says, “attack the moral fiber of Filipino life.”
Included in the list is the “consumption and distribution of chocolatey products.” The CBCP explains, “Chocolate is a natural aphrodisiac. It encourages...
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Palace Communications Group announces announcement...
Malacañang held a press conference today to announce President Aquino’s intention to make an announcement about when he will announce a “mutual understanding” with a woman, whose identity will be announced in a separate announcement, which will come just shortly after the first announcement that the Palace announced.
Says Executive Secretary Jojo Ochoa, ”We would...
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April 2011
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March 2011
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The Ping Lacson guide to evading arrest
Ping Lacson uses his experience crafting and enforcing laws to teach you how to break them
BY PANFILO LACSON, SR.
Sometimes, you do something to some person that puts you in danger of getting arrested. It could be rape, robbery, or ordering the murder of an innocent human being — the point is, it happens to everyone.
When that time comes, it is best to be prepared. That’s why I am...
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Ping Lacson Finder
Where has Sen. Ping Lacson been hiding? Click through to use Mosquito Press’ Ping Lacson Finder!
Instructions: Click on the blue pins to see details of the Ping Lacson sighting. For a larger view, click here.
View Ping Lacson Finder in a larger map
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Merceditas Gutierrez reviews 'Inception'
BY MERCEDITAS GUTIERREZ
Whenever movies premiere at cinemas, I always make it a point to watch and review them promptly. Today, I share with you my judgement of the latest box office hit, Inception, starring Leonardo di Caprio.
Acting was good. Effects were good. Music was scary but good.
Many ask me about the ending of Inception. The character of Leonardo di Caprio is reunited with his...
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Ligot Family Response Generator
Mosquito Press has devised an innovative tool to help senators question former comptroller Jacinto Ligot, and his wife, Erlinda. Introducing the Ligot Family Response Generator! Click through to use.
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News flash: Supreme Court reveals new Bar exam...
In an interview today with Mosquito News TV, Supreme Court spokesman Atty. Midas Marquez revealed the following addition to the Bar exam:
Question #1,879: What is the legal defense for Intellectual Property theft?
a) Fair Use b) “My research assistant did it.” c) None, because I am a Supreme Court Justice.
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Tim Garcia speaks out: General's son reveals truth...
Tim Garcia and Trina, a member of his No-Carbs Support Group.
BY THE STAFF
Tim Garcia burst into headlines in 2009, when he was arrested in the United States in connection with the dealings of his father, accused plunderer Gen. Carlos Garcia.
Tim now works as head of public relations at Marc Jacobs’ men’s division. He once described his arrest as a “doorway to hell,”...
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Ayala Alabang bans earthquake drills
In Ayala Alabang, do not take cover.
The Sanggunian Barangay of Ayala Alabang released an ordinance today that regulates the use of “anti-calamity activities and devices,” such as earthquake drills and earthquake engineering.
In an interview with Mosquito Press, Barangay Ayala Alabang spokesperson Atty. Noemi Ochave explains, “All anti-calamity acts and devices are immoral,...
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Agua Oxinada: #1 cure for mental retardation
ADVERTORIAL — Reah Laboratories, Inc. brings to the Philippines the foremost remedy for mental retardation: Agua Oxinada.
Studies in Russia show the potency of Agua Oxinada in curing ailments related to mental retardation, such as bleeding and infection.
The Agua Oxinada solution seeps through the skin and targets malicious cells in the thyroid. By simply rubbing Agua Oxinada into one’s...
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Harvard study finds that Filipinos are the world's...
As Pinoys fall for the acid rain hoax, a study finds that Filipinos are gullible.
OMAHA — According to a study released by the Harvard Institute of Socio-Political Progression (HIS-PP), the Philippines ranks first among the world’s most gullible races.
The study involved content analyses of over 500,000 historical documents from 300 different societies. The documents were then evaluated...
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CBCP President quits post to become Michael...
Former CBCP President Nereo Ochimar
MANILA — Tandag Bishop Nereo Ochimar, president of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP), resigned from his post today in order to take a job as the official spokesperson of the late pop singer Michael Jackson.
Ochimar submitted his irrevocable letter of resignation to the CBCP board this morning. The CBCP have not released a...
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Filipino trio wins top international math olympiad
Team Philippines (center), with organizers of the Probst-Steinowitz International Math Olympiad.
WASHINGTON DC — Three young Filipino math wizards made the country proud today by placing first at the Probst-Steinowitz International Math Olympiad in Washington DC.
With the coordination of Department of Education Undersecretary Jheffrey Cagas, the trio bested teams from 126 other countries,...
February 2011
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Breaking news: Arroyo appointed Chief Democracy...
TRIPOLI — Congresswoman Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo arrived in Libya today, following her appointment by embattled leader Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi as the country’s Chief Democracy Czar.
Arroyo spokesperson Elena Bautista-Horn said the Congresswoman accepted the position in order to “ensure a peaceful resolution” to violent protests in the country.
According to Horn, Arroyo...
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Pinoy couple says democracy has failed; decides to...
LAOAG CITY — A couple was arrested yesterday after police discovered their children locked in a bathroom, crying for help. Ferdinand Abcede, 28, and his wife Imelda Abcede, 26, had allegedly detained their five offspring, ages 12, 8, 7, 6, and 5, for nearly 3 years.
“It started because the children (were) not happy to eat only chicken feet while the parents (were) eating chicken...
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